Back to the roots…
I have never really seen myself as Egyptian, even though to the outside world, I clearly looked it.
My features, my skin, my presence.. they all spoke of a culture I never felt part of.
I distanced myself from that identity for a very long time, mainly because of the man that I sent to prison 16 years ago due to extreme violence.
For a long time, I associated everything Egyptian with him and I wanted nothing to do with it. Being fully dissociated from any family, close or distant, I have rarely come in contact with Egyptian people.
But somehow, after all these years, I now see Egypt through a different lens. Simple interactions with Egyptians make me feel a peaceful connection to this country and my heart and DNA are happy❤️
A sense of comfort, an unfamiliar feeling of belonging in a culture I never grew up in, never embraced, and the strange thing is that I am actually still able to communicate in a language I haven’t spoken in close to 20 years now.
Despite chemo brain failing me regularly, it magically still remembers an entire language that has been conveniently parked, waiting for its time to shine✨😄
It’s not about forgiving the past…it’s about reclaiming a part of myself that I once pushed away, I owe that to my children and to myself❤️
