There are no losers or winners when it comes to cancer.
With a diagnosis, you get catapulted from one day to the other without warning into this unknown horrible fearful parallel world of cancer.
It is a world filled with intense fear, anxiety, anger, hope, perseverance, disappointment, courage, even joy and mostly a drive for self discovery.
I have met extraordinary people during the past months. Young and older patients from all over the globe.
We all share the same small simple uncomplicated benign wish – we want to be ‘allowed’ to live on.
Many of us put a discount on our life expectancy and state we would be happy if we could only live XX more years to see our children graduate or get married.
We mostly ‘live’ on a renewable 3 month lease.
Once a piece of paper confirms that the check was OK, we return to our daily life until the next check.
The daily physical impact from the heavy treatment may be invisible to others while we look ‘normal’ on the outside.
The intense constant fear is omnipresent while we try to regain some sense of normality.
A simple casual symptom makes us jump with fear of a recurrence. It is the ultimate mind game.
Why am I being particularly reflective today?
My sweet friend has passed away today. She was only 39 and a beautiful mother to 2 young children
There are no losers or winners when it comes to cancer.
Winning or losing somehow implies that one is fighting/playing better than the other one and this is why one has won and the other one has lost.
This is simply not true when it comes to this horrible disease.
Each patient is unique, each cancer is unique and should be treated as such.
There is no ‘one size fits all’ when deciding on the best therapeutic approach.
Ultimately, luck is a big factor in the survival of cancer.
One thing I know for sure is that my lovely friend has fought just as hard as I did and I am yet to meet someone who has not given everything in order to stay alive.
I am currently feeling a deep sense of survivor’s guilt while I am lucky enough to play with my children and my friend will never be able to experience this again.
Life can be very cruel.
Be grateful for just being able to breathe today.
When you next feel like life is so unfair because COVID prevents you from playing tennis, getting a haircut or eating at a restaurant…Please remember that many people are living in that parallel world alongside with only one wish to see another day.
